Daughters were never meant to be fatherless

I feel a word stirring inside that is messy.  

Daughters were meant to have fathers. 

I struggle relationally because of huge deficits in earthy love, 

communication and emotional support from my father. 

 (I've seen him once in my adult life-thanks to drugs). 

I know it's offensive to talk about this kind of stuff on Facebook,  so I decided to blog  about it.   Good reason to blog again.   Sorry in advance, to family who might feel offended -this is not intended for you.  I'm not looking for pity or answers.  I think I'm just trying to bring attention to a huge section of our society that's doing the best with what they have, and when you don't have a father it's a definite game changer.  Messy.  Very messy.  Right now I'm watching my amazing husband love his children, as well as foster children that come in and out of our home and this journey is forcing me to deal with things I try to forget about. 

Things I try to shelf, not because of sin or denial, but really out of survival and necessity.  

Or just because it's my reality. 

It sucks, I hate it.
 Foster care
has brought me to my knees countless
times in the last almost year.
It's transforming me into somebody I never knew I could be.
 It's hard, and it actually physically hurts.
It hurts to love out of places that are painful.
 It hurts to be parents to a child when you don't have parents being parents to you. 

And the more love that I give out the more I realize the deficit. 

Without my great faith I don't know how I would manage this great void, but I know there's a lot of women out there that don't know how to manage this void and I
feel like it's a conversation worth having.

What are we, the church doing about this great deficit? 

 How do we address this gaping wound in the lives of so many fatherless children? 

 I feel like daughters were meant to have fathers and when they don't great pain that manifest itself into many different life altering circumstances happens that last a lifetime,  or generations. 

How can I, you, touch the life of a fatherless daughter in your sphere of influence?

 How can we reach a fatherless generation and give daughters hope?
I am tired and weary,  even though I have incredible girlfriends that are here for me. 

But I need a father. 

 Even though I am the Lord's Beloved. 

 A tattoo on my wrist tells me that I am.

I still have a need for the fruit that rises out of the relationship between a father and a daughter. 

 It's not fair, and I know this feeling that I'm having apart from God turns into patterns of behavior in our society that are devastating.  

Pornography, 

 Human trafficking,

promiscuity,

 foster-care, 

alcoholism,

 drug abuse, 

suicide, 

depression, 

loneliness, 

lack of counsel, 

teen pregnancy,

 Behavior issues at school,

 IEP's that really are just brokenheartedness,

 How about sexual abuse because there wasn't a father in the home,

 Because that statistic goes up three fold when a single mom is raising daughters alone. 

 I am that statistic- being raped by your moms friend while he tells you that if you open your mouth he will then go rape your younger  sister probably wouldn't of happened if my dad was in the house. 

 So many issues stem from their not being a father involved in a daughters life.

I'm grateful for my Heavenly Father, I do not take Him for granted and I feel like he's put this on my heart to talk about.  I don't cry often, I think Gods calling me to weep for the fatherless and it's scary. And I don't want to do it but I think it's too late. 

God's heart aches for the fatherless, 

we have to step up and touch the lives of those who are in need.

Are you fatherless, what's your life like what are your struggles? 

My struggle right now is supporting an amazing father and husband and making myself vulnerable and available to him. 

Trusting him with my heart, 

laying bare before people and believing that I can trust them.  

I struggle  with trust, relational intimacy, depth and believing that you're gonna like the person that I really am.  

That when you get to know me you won't abandon me.

 I avoid grieving over losses.
I mostly sweep them under the rug. 

I mostly just move right past that part. 

When you're staring into the face of a 12-year-old  fatherless daughter,  who's reality  is  the foster care system who happens to be up for adoption and she's visiting your house for the weekend, Your forced to deal with these  realities. 

  God is called us to get down in the dust, to get real with ourselves, and transform this planet one person at a time. 

 Today, he is working on me.
 I'm scared to death,
 God's working out salvation in  me and legitimate faith is not easy.
 I take that back, faith for me is easy.
 I can have it for you, I can have faith and hope for the future too.
 It's dealing with  these emotions in front of me that's difficult.

 I can give a really good hopes and dreams speech, and I can think of 13 Scriptures to interject into this post but I don't feel like it's necessary.
 One will do
“But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit that lives in you.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:11‬ ‭MEV‬‬
http://bible.com/1171/rom.8.11.mev

 I'm grateful that my mortal body matters, my emotions matter and my well-being matters to God.  His supernatural life flows through my veins and empowers me to love in spite of my great deficit.
Becoming God's child, daughter has been so freeing. 
I feel like he is calling his Church to become child like.  
Entering His kingdom requires it. 
(Mathew 18)